Book Reviews
Time to Tell 'Em Off! A Pocket Guide to Overcoming Peer Ridicule
Deanna Miller (2002) Time to Tell 'Em Off! A Pocket Guide to Overcoming Peer Ridicule. USA: Booklocker.com, Inc. ISBN: 1 931391 58 0 (paperback)
Read any of the reviews for this book on the Internet and you will probably find very little criticism (I could find nothing substantial). In fact, you will most likely discover many rave reviews, describing Deanna Miller's book as perceptive and hard-hitting. However, I would like to show that this book is one that you will either love or hate.
Written in an emotive style, Miller's book powerfully rekindled many of my own childhood experiences relating to bullying. It is a tribute to her literary skills that she is able to write a book for an audience of children and teenagers that is clear, direct and engaging. Indeed, so lucid and strong is the sentiment of the book, that I could easily relate to the author's accounts of her own experiences. This is also the book's greatest weakness.
There is a temptation to believe that because I can identify so readily with Miller's experiences that the lessons she has learnt from these must also apply to myself. What is evident from the book is that Miller is offering her audience an alternative perspective on the experience of being ridiculed, one that has helped her understand and deal better with this experience. Contrast this with those authors who seek to provide scientific information so that the audience can make informed decisions, and we can see which will be the friendlier of the two (Miller of course). But this alternative perspective is not always useful.
Whilst placing herself firmly on the side of the victim, Miller shows no compassion for the bully for whom she has no end of insults. Knowing that many bullied children become bullies, blurring the dichotomy between victim and perpetrator, I feel uncomfortable with her position. She also takes the opportunity to tell children that non-prescribed drugs are bad and that they should not spend too much money on clothing. This kind of advice seems more relevant to her own professed beliefs in Christianity and the notion that her readers can find solace in God, than to overcoming peer ridicule in itself. Framing her suggestions as 'guidelines' rather than 'rules' might also be more appropriate. For example, her rule that children should not ignore bullies contradicts evidence that some children have found 'ignoring the bully' useful.
Towards the end of her book, Deanna Miller suggests that if the book does not work for the child they should see fault with the book rather than themselves. She then offers a list of useful Internet resources so that the child can seek further information. It is this ending that saves the book, allowing the reader to learn from Miller's experiences and try out some of the advice she offers, while still being able to keep faith if it all does not work out. I can recommend this book to any school library, where many children will undoubtedly gain something positive from this book, although some might not.
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